Zaize

So my first year of University is over. I know I should have written this sooner but neeeehhh I didn't feel up to it. I mean, I know I've made progress with myself and my art and writing but it doesn't feel like that. And I hate hate hate looking back like that because then I just feel worse. And feeling worse leads to baaaad things. But in retrospect no one want to read about me ignoring the fundamental problems of my personality. Hey what'dyou know my writing has gotten better. Boo ya. Anyway as per usual I've hit the vain of ideas but have no clue how to a) control the flow and b) actually communicate these ideas. A problem I'm sure

So it's been more than a while since I last wrote something for this. Yeah. I've now finished my first semester of my first year ( now the title makes sense eh?) and the only thing that annoys me is the lack of work I've done on my art. BOOOO. Lucky I took a photography class and I'll be putting up some of my works from that class so hopefully that will compensate a little (what am I saying?). And thanks to that class I now have a whole new medium to work in (yeah!) and one that I don't feel like a complete failure at (think positive damn it). Also I have boots now.

I remember this feeling when I graduated from primary school. The fear that I couldn't feel. The knowledge that I can't. It's the fear that I can't grasp until I am alone and my chance for sympathy has already come and gone. So I was in my last drama lesson (ever) and people were crying and talking about how said they were when I realized it. I'm not sad. So I tried to figure out what other emotion I was feeling instead of being sad like everybody else. Happy? No, that's not it. Angry? No, I've got no reason to be pissed off. Scared? No way. Excited? What? No! Oh, I'm not feeling anything. Not a single fucking thing. I spent the