I remember this feeling when I graduated from primary school. The fear that I couldn't feel. The knowledge that I can't.
It's the fear that I can't grasp until I am alone and my chance for sympathy has already come and gone.
So I was in my last drama lesson (ever) and people were crying and talking about how said they were when I realized it.
I'm not sad.
So I tried to figure out what other emotion I was feeling instead of being sad like everybody else.
Happy? No, that's not it.
Angry? No, I've got no reason to be pissed off.
Scared? No way.
Excited? What? No!
Oh, I'm not feeling anything.
Not a single fucking thing.
I spent the day like this. Wondering why I couldn't feel anything. I'd even settle for melancholy if it meant feeling sad.
But I didn't get even that far.
It wasn't until I got home that I cried. It was strange because I still wasn't feeling anything, yet I was crying.
I wonder what I'm going to be like on my official last day of high school.